What is home behavior management?
Parents are the ultimate role models for children. Every word, movement, and action has an effect. No other person or outside force has a greater influence on a child than the parent - Bob Keeshan
A major challenge faced by parents is managing rebellious behavior in children. Whether your child refuses to put a sweater on to go out into the cold or throws a major tantrum for refusing to purchase something that he/she really wanted, rebellious behavior leaves most parents flabbergasted.
Some parents might think that adopting a strict approach might curb the rebellious behavior. However, this only tends to make things worse.
Home behavior management helps children become familiar with various behavioral aspects of life. What children learn in their homes reflects in their behavior through the outside world. Building an open relationship with your child is crucial to ensuring that your child feels secure enough to share his/her feelings with you and still respect your authority as a parent.
But, why exactly do certain problematic behaviors exist?
In order to understand problematic behaviour, it's necessary to understand the root of the cause. For example, children behave a certain way because they might think being obstinate will get them what they want.
Visualise this scene: After your child has returned from school, he/she might suddenly start complaining about the toys that they own, saying they are not good enough or that they have become old and ask for new toys. Dissatisfaction over their current toys could have sprung up from hearing their peers talk about their new Barbie doll or Iron Man figure toy.
It’s always important to take the time to understand why your child is behaving a certain way. What your child is asking for may seem unnecessary to you, but how you deal with such a situation will leave an indelible impression on your child’s mind and will affect how they behave in the future.
Here are important precepts of home behavior management:
The relationship between parent and child: How your child perceives you is related to how they behave around you. If your child is scared or hesitant to share things with you, then you must work on improving the relationship. Do not expect a child to not make mistakes. But, never hesitate to correct them. Tell them when they are wrong and also show them what the right thing to do is.
Invest time in your children: Family time is critical. Parents must ensure that they are aware of what is going on in their child’s life. Strive to create a relationship where they are free to share even the most trivial stories or goings-on with you. This can only be achieved when you spend a good amount of time trying to know how their day was or what new things they learned in school, etc. You can consider being more involved by picking and dropping your children to school yourself, attending PTAs without fail, having at least one meal a day with the entire family together and so on. It even helps to ensure that your children maintain a good relationship with their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents.
Positive influence: Always be a positive role model in your child’s life. This doesn't mean you spoil them with toys and expensive gifts. As a parent, you must come to an understanding with your child. Make a set of rules which are accepted by your children and help them follow a particular code of behavior, which you think would bring about a positive impact on their life. Spend quality time with children and praising them when they achieve milestones in their area of interest are amazing ways to instill confidence and boost their morale.
Consequences: When children fail to address a certain behavioral issue, they must be made aware of consequences. We don’t mean you should hand out punishments to them. Instead, talk to them and express your disappointment with negative behavior, as well as, help them understand how they can become better. You can promise them a reward if they are willing to change their behavior. If this doesn't work, then you might have to increase your intensity a little bit. For instance, when they break a toy or glass, make them help you with small chores like filling up small water bottles, making their bed, etc. Most importantly, help them realize that they have done something wrong so that they will know not to repeat it in the future.
Do you have any questions about Home Behaviour Management? If you would like to consult with a professional, please feel free to contact Stepping Stones.